Sacred Experience

I wrote this poem on the plane home with the intentions of handing it over to my brother to add some music. My mother asked me to write some Christmas song lyrics and I couldn’t bring Christmas, so I looked inside and decided that I felt passionate about this, about the idea that there are some experiences in life which can’t be shared. Whether it’s war, or religion, or trauma, or education, there are things which are so personal and so unique, that they cannot be explained except with those who have experienced the same thing. With that in mind, I wrote the following, and I hope these words show some of that passion.

I CANNOT TELL

Snow falls softly from the sky
Fire flickers in your eyes
While Christmas fills the world with light
I want to hold you close tonight,
But deep inside my heart’s not right.
Weighed down by a world of lies.

Silence settles quickly now
Aloft my furrowed brow
I wonder if God’s gracious son
Felt to share his cross with anyone,
Or bore it till his life was done?
To earn his heavenly crown.

Alone we sit together
A wife and her old soldier
I’ll love you with my shattered heart
In my world of lonely sorrow
For you don’t understand me now
And I can’t let you in.

I’ve been to the wars and I came back
What I’ve seen and done I’ll not forget
I want to tell you this Christmas Eve
Show you scars you won’t believe
But you weren’t in that hole back there
And it’s something I can’t ever share.

I’ll fight the fight forever
I’ll never wander far.
I’ll keep your love unsevered
I’ll love you like the stars
But I can’t tell you what I saw
Not you, not now, not ever.

Escape from Ennui

In the infinite abyss of boredom which opens before me as the last review session of the semester winds to an inexorable end, I find my mind turning to other interests, in fact, to anything at all. As I have recently had opportunity to view two spectacular films, I feel to discuss their merits in an attempt to stave my impending death by ennui. This last weekend I ignored the pressing need to study for the midterms which hang precariously over my head and attended Harry Potter and Walk the Line.  

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the fourth and arguably the best Harry Potter book. The same can be said of the movie. Not only did the movie hang on a framework of excellent plot and interesting character development, it excelled by virtue of impressive direction. The sequences of romantic interaction between the three main characters blew me away, and the action sequences of Harry in the TriWizard Tournament provided some breathtaking, edge of your seat entertainment. In addition, the young actors are truly blossoming into professional performers and at times demonstrate a real maturity in their acting. Despite the race from beginning to end, the film did not succeed on all levels.

A few elements of the film both contradicted the book and may have alienated fans. Throughout the books Albus Dumbledore remains a dignified, graceful mentor to Harry and other characters. In this film, Michael Gambon’s portrayal of the stately wizard devolved into a twittering, overly-concerned mother hen. He fidgeted from place to place, yelled at Harry, and came off as an overly strict, out of control head master. In addition, the beginning of the film came off as hurried and unconnected. Each scene cut to another with little transition and no real chance to orient oneself before moving to the next. Shortcomings aside, this is hands down the best Potter flick yet and deserves a viewing on the big screen.

The other film worthy of review is Walk the Line, an awe inspiring biopic about the life of Johnny Cash and his love affair with June Carter. Whether one approves of Cash’s life choices, it is hard to deny the impressive performances of both Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, perhaps the most impressive element of the film. The directing is of limited influence on the film and comes across as a bit pedestrian, especially sequences of Cash’s detox which are filled with jump cuts and harsh lighting. But the director does succeed in showing the performances of his stars without getting in the way.

It is that performance which provides the real driving force behind the film. Both Phoenix and Witherspoon sing all of their own songs and between their onscreen performance and their singing, sound nearly identical to the originals. For the first time in my memory, I watched this film and forgot that I was watching an actor. I truly felt that I was watching Johnny Cash on the screen. Perhaps this is biased as I am a fan of Phoenix, but even for non-fans, his energy and presence on screen command attention. Witherspoon offers an equally impressive supporting role and manages to transcend her more common blonde character portrayals.

Both Harry Potter and Walk the Line deserve a big screen viewing, and in my world, a full price big screen viewing. They are both entertaining escapes from reality and give the viewer several meaningful character moments. It’s a great time in the theater, and a wonderful distraction from a tedious law review. But, in the words of Levar Burton, don’t take my word for it.

Anonymity Preferred

My good friend Triet posted a comment which noted the lack of anonymous posting on my blog, thus notifying me of a situation which I didn't realize. Now I know, and according to the famous words of G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle." I have accordingly changed the settings on the blog to allow anonymous posts. In addition, I enabled a word confirmation feature which should cut down on the blogspam. Until next time...

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Angry

In recent days I’ve spent a good deal of time working on the school of law newspaper, and as such, my thoughts have turned to questions of civic involvement and the exercise of free speech. As such, I wrote the following column for the school paper and felt to include it here, although it may seem slightly inconsistent with my previous posts. I do this in hopes of sparking debate and discussion, and with luck, a little bit of improvement.

In temporarily discarding my normal Bush bashing, I choose instead to comment on an issue which stirs my passions: civic involvement. More specifically, letters to the editor, and a general lack of them. This is the third issue of the paper, and The Advocate’s editorial staff has yet to receive a single letter. I am tired of wandering the halls of Bannan and hearing a hundred good ideas, or worthy complaints, go unnoted by those in a position to make change. Particularly when an effective means of communication is readily available, and sadly underutilized. Journalistic freedom and participation may seem like mixed blessings, depending on the administration, but their purposes are legion. They prevent those in power from abusing that power. They provide a prod to progress and overcome administrative lethargy. They provide an opportunity to foster change and growth. Finally, they extend the debate beyond the talking heads of CNN and Fox News to the grassroots of Everytown, America. Unfortunately this effectiveness is limited by community members' desire to engage their media.

General apathy on the part of the student body permits those in positions of influence or power to intimidate right minded individuals from expressing their ideas. I know a 1L who took issue with a certain column in the last issue of The Advocate. Although the column was passed off as an opinion piece, she felt the facts cited misrepresented the situation and cast her in a bad light. I prompted her to write a letter to the editor to protest, and she even wrote one, but upon reconsideration she felt submission of that letter would expose her to possible retaliation in future columns. If students who felt strongly about an issue used the forum available in The Advocate to voice their opinions, my friend may not have felt so hesitant to raise her concerns.

Furthermore, students' silence contributes to the stagnation of progress and the continuation of mediocrity. Since the last issue of The Advocate hit Bannan, several individuals have approached me to discuss its contents. Some have suggested the purpose of The Advocate, and every student organization, should be to improve the reputation of the School of Law. Others have wondered if some aspect of the paper bordered on libelous behavior. Still others had more than a few choice words to say about opinions published in its pages. I believe many of these are worthwhile and fair criticisms, but unless they are made through students' exercise of their civic rights, they remain ephemeral suggestions lost to those with editorial power. If one wants to alter policy, one must speak up.

The Advocate offers an open and accessible venue for discussion of administration policy and ideas for improvement. When someone suggested to me that The Advocate take a long view of its relationship to the SBA and SCU School of Law, I took their point as a good one. My response, though, is this: the most effective way for a student organization like The Advocate to improve the reputation of this school is to provide a fair and open forum to praise and to criticize, as the case may warrant, School of Law policy and practice. If someone wants to change the purpose of The Advocate, let them write a letter to the editor. If someone wants to suggest a way to improve the School of Law rankings, write a letter to the editor. Dean Polden reads the paper, he’ll see the suggestion. If someone enjoyed a panel, or speaker, or other resource available on campus, write a letter to the editor. The person responsible will read it and feel ten times better. Use The Advocate for its purpose, an opportunity to inform and to report important news to the students here at Santa Clara University.

It is important to understand, though, that the nature of The Advocate imposes certain limitations. Because The Advocate is a monthly publication, it is difficult to fill its pages with late breaking news, or up to the minute reports about fascinating legal developments. What has always worked best, and will continue to work best, is a more timeless approach. Instead of trying to beat daily papers, newscasts, and web media, The Advocate is best suited for op/ed pieces and feature articles that highlight the achievements of students and faculty here at SCU. Limitations in reporting should not discourage anyone from participating in their community.

A vital and lively debate should not be limited to election time. The other day I surveyed past issues of The Advocate and discovered that published letters to the editor peaked during the 2004 presidential elections. As students of the law it seems our consideration of involvement should include more than national issues. Not every graduate of SCU School of Law will find themselves ensconced in the marbled halls of Washington, D.C., lobbying to affect national policy. Many, if not most, of us will spend our days interacting with clients, firms, or corporations. We will live our lives surrounded by friends and family, flesh and blood people, if you will. In the midst of our depersonalization of the human experience, shouldn’t we wonder how to improve our state, city, neighborhoods, and families? That is the purpose of a publication like The Advocate, to provide a place to worry and to wonder about all levels of society.

If The Advocate is not immediate enough, or high tech enough, I am posting this column to my blog and I welcome feedback and comments there. I would like to see a community of people involved and, to whatever extent possible, I intend to use my access to the media to encourage that involvement. You can submit letters to the editor at editor@theadvocate.us. This column and other musings are also located at thesiegeperilous.blogspot.com. Please shed the apathy and get involved.  

Veteran's Day Vitriolics

I just read an article about President Bush’s Veteran’s Day speech in Pennsylvania and I can’t help but to question its resemblance to certain individuals in the past. First, President Johnson during Vietnam.
"The stakes in the global war on terror are too high and the national interest is too important for politicians to throw out false charges," the president said in his combative Veterans Day speech.
"While it's perfectly legitimate to criticize my decision or the conduct of the war, it is deeply irresponsible to rewrite the history of how that war began," the president said.
Actually, on second reading, it sounds more like Nixon, shifting, paranoid, and angry at anyone who might criticize his policies.

Second, some of his rhetoric seems almost identical to his counterparts in the axis of evil.

"As our troops fight a ruthless enemy determined to destroy our way of life, they deserve to know that their elected leaders who voted to send them to war continue to stand behind them," the president said. "Our troops deserve to know that this support will remain firm when the going gets tough. And our troops deserve to know that, whatever our differences in Washington, our will is strong, our nation is united and we will settle for nothing less than victory."

Third and finally, Bush sounds like the Captain in Galaxy Quest, an embittered, old actor unwilling to admit his pathetic existence.

"We will never back down. We will never give in. We will never accept anything less than complete victory," Bush declared.
Not that George Bush has a pathetic existence per se, but his words simply remind me of such.

All quotes on this page taken from the AP article by Deb Riechmann as posted at news.yahoo.com.

"The Judgment of Harry Punch"

It’s up, the November issue of The Cynic Online Magazine. My story “The Judgment of Harry Punch” by S.D. Jacob is on the site. Please click to the link and read the story as this is my first official publication.

"How I Met My Wife"

Sitting in class I thought I would post this link to the blog, as I have always thoroughly enjoyed this article. “How I met my wife,” by Jack Winters, was published in the New Yorker some years ago, and provides a wonderful bent on the negative aspects of the English language.